Saturday 24 December 2011

What! No 24 hours of A Christmas Story! %*&#

What?  TNT is not going to show 24 hours of a A Christmas Story!  I have checked the website.  I have sent an email.  I have called.  And, I will send a formal letter of complaint to TNT for this holly, jolly holiday betrayal.

What will I watch while I am preparing the bird?  What will I watch when I get up at 5:00 fricking a.m. to put the same stupid bird in the oven?  Where will I turn to when it's time to baste?  How can we bet on what scene will be on when we turn the TV on if it's not even showing?  Have you ever noticd that the same scene is always on no matter what time you turn on the TV?

The joy of A Christmas Story is that this is everyone's Christmas.  Unless you are Jewish, of course.  Whose Dad has  not cussed at the Christmas tree?  What causes the black out section  on twinkle lights?  Why does the tree always lean? Does it lean to the left if you are a Democrat, and the right if you're a Republican? 

Anyway, no You'll-shoot-your-eye-out.  Whose eye wil be shot out?  No F-U-D-D-D-GE! No fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra! No Scott Farkle's yellow eyes! What will happen to the old man's "tapestry of obscenity"? Is it still hanging in space over Lake Michigan or has it disapeared in space? What will little boys across the United States do without the soft glow of electric sex? And no %*&# Bumpasses. I am triple dog damnedly mad that there won't be any diabolical "HO, HO, H...

Pardon me?  A Christmas Story is on TBS?  Oops.  Never mind.

Wednesday 30 November 2011

Anthropologie = ETERNITY!!!

  I


Check it out.  Anthropologie equals Eternity.  Check out the symbol for eternity.  Up there. 

How often have you seen the following:

$88     Top
$128   Skirt
$188   Dress

We all knew it was true.  Anthropologie doesn't just provide clothes: it provides a state of mind, a way of living even your identity.  The tops may fray; the skirts may stain; the dresses may be out of style... Wait, what was I saying?  Not that. 

Anyway, Anthropologie clothing provides you more than a way of clothing your body.  The Big A clothes your soul.

Check out the website if you don't believe me.  See for yourself how many items end in an "8".  Um all of them?

It only proves that Athro-Land is not just a means of getting funky clothes, but a fashion network that connects us all to the Universe...and that $2.38 a DAY minimum wage earner in China that made your pretty, pretty skirt.

Coming soon, a post on The Magicians.  Books, my first love.

Friday 11 November 2011

backstory on the Tangerine Flicker Dress...Charlie Brown's little sis ripped off!

Probably not coming to the E channel. Correct me if I am wrong, but do you see a similarity between these two images?

Is Charles Schultz estate aware that Anthropologie has ripped off Charlie Brown? What about Sally? She could have used this as a great Easter dress with white gloves and Mary Janes. 'Cause let me tell you, they fit about the same.

Why does Anthropologie insist on such short bodices?

Thursday 6 October 2011

Eating ants is never a good thing.

One of my students ate an ant at recess.

That pretty much says it all. Mind you, I teach fifth graders, not kindergartners or even first graders so you don't think to say, "Don't eat any bugs!", when they leave for recess.
J has his tongue in a cup of cold water, and he's crying quietly. I'd like to think he's crying because he is reconsidering the error of his ways; realizes the potential danger of what could have happened if he had an ant allergy, but it is probably more because he won't have recess for a week. Or maybe his tongue hurts.

Apparently the feast began when another student dared him to eat an ant. I saw him out at recess holding the tip of his tongue, and asked why he wasn't playing. It took several re-tellings to understand the gist of it since he held his tongue the whole time and half the class was yelling their versions of the story. After scolding him, and actually saying,” If they told you to jump off a bridge, would you do THAT?"

Not letting him answer because I was afraid of what he would say, I sent him to the nurse to be on the safe side. I wrote a discipline slip on each student only to find the “Pass the buck” refrain begin. Apparently the sixth graders were eating ants too. Nothing like an elementary school kids' logic: if enough students get in trouble, then maybe I won't get in as much trouble.

The sixth grade participation does not surprise me one bit as I had that class last year, and they are notorious at school already. Deputy San Martino met with several boys and one girl for "incorrigible" behavior. That means they were bad a lot.

I can't help but think of Bill Cosby's routine in when he talks about his kids being brain damaged. I posted a link so you can see the validity of his point of view. If you have ever been a parent or a teacher, you realize he is not exaggerating.

I was forced to use the "S" word. It was a STUPID decision.

Wednesday 5 October 2011

Why editing your students' writing is a good idea.

The local Kiwanis gave each student in the fifth grade class a Webster's Dictionary for Students which, surprisingly enough, gets used. After three years, I have finally wised up and will no longer spell words for my students. They can slaughter the English language with ole Webster.

So, of course, the friendly letter followed shortly. Expository writing, the friendly letter, is an Arizona writing standard anyway. So, I set my class to writing their thank you's. I put a very clear sample on the board which only a third of the class ignored. Most of the thank you's were standard, yet sweet. Lots of "I really like...," and "Thank you for.... One student wrote, "I use it alot in class. Can you send us more stuff?" The latter sentence was nixed.

One student's really stood out. A lot. Little Mickey (name changed to protect the ...)is a very low reader and writer. Her letter started with the same, "Thank you for the dictionarys. They are so usefull. I can find exciting words like intoxication and menstruation in it."

I could feel my mouth hanging open. Trying very, very hard not to laugh, I furiously erased those exciting words she found. I don't know whether she was pulling my leg or not, but she professed innocence of their meaning. I explained to her, in the hall, that "intoxication" means drunk, and I just blew off "menstruation". She can find out the wonder and beauty of being a woman some other day. I just told her that none of the Kiwanis would be interested in reading either word, and let's go find some different ones.

Yikes. I would never have sent letters out without reading them first, but I still shudder.

Oh, and her two new words were "quadrilateral" and "zoology".

Saturday 17 September 2011

Bookbinder Shoes. Mine Precious!

As I stated the other day, nonexistent readers, cute Golden Means was the source of my downfall. Her post about the Bookbinder shoes led me to AnthroLand where I fell in luv.

If you read the reviews, there are some fit issues as in actually keeping the shoes on which is one of the primary functions of shoes if you think about it. Wearing them; walking in them. I normally hate heels, preferring Keds to about anything except for boots, but these shoes are a must. They call to me like a siren to Odysseus. They are actually comfortable not to mention transcendentally representative of my identity, focus and soul. All that crap from from a pair of overpriced, whimsical shoes. When you find something that touches and represents your identity, focus and soul, you want to hold on to it. BUT THEY WON'T STAY ON!! I bought heels doodads, but they still flop around off my heel. As I stated in my review on Anthro, I am keeping them even if I have to carry them around, put them on and stand in a corner with my back to a party just so everyone can see my too-cool-for-school shoes. And when I say too cool for school I am talking about where I work. Sadly, they are too cool for my school.

These are the shoes for the true bibliophile. Maybe I'll decorate with them.

Here are the darlings.

Thursday 15 September 2011

SOMEBODY READ MY BLOG!!!!!

Golden Means actually posted on my blog, and I am so happy. She has a cute and peppy blog about, hold your hat, Anthropologie. I know, I know. She is also the incredibly wicked, evil temtress blogger that posted pictures on the Bookbinder heels which inspired-made me buy them. Style entrapment.

Sunday 4 September 2011

I love my Anthro Society Picnic fat sack skirt!


Hello out there! I love, love, love the Picnic Society Skirt. I can see the “Picnic” in it, but I haven’t figured out whose “Society” it is yet. The size 2’s of the world? Generation Z with $11,000 in AnthroDebt?

Oh, who cares. Let’s talk about what’s really important. This skirt is adorable; it’s made of bright and vibrant faux vintage style hankies in reds and blues and flowers. It is everything a flirty and fun Anthro skirt should be: it has style; it has color; it has that unique vintagey feel that Anthro has, and it is really not that flattering. Cutest skirt ever, and I look like a fat sack in it. To be more accurate, I look like a really cute fat sack, but the elastic waist is an oopsy daisy. (See below for definitions,)


Have you ever noticed that while Anthro has the cutest clothes, all too often they are not that flattering.

Don't make me prove it. Because I can.

Sunday 24 July 2011

Puttin' the UGH in ugly. The mini-maxi caftan.

Mrs. Roper, your new Anthro catalogue is here!. Thanks Chrissy!

Yep, in the bewildering decline of AnthroTaste, they have now sunk to a new low: the mini-maxi caftan. It's a maxi; it's a mini' it's a caftan all rolled into one. And, it is not just ugly girls, it is expensive! Each one clocks in at $310. Yikes.

Poor things aren't even named, and there is minimal AnthroBlather about them and not one review. Why no reviews? They are only available online!! Crazy man. The mini-maxi, which sounds like a serious feminine product, is not generally a lock for the fashion forward unless AnthroLand is attempting a fashion foray into a line called The Emperor Has No Clothes.

This drapey, deep-v dress is cut from a vintage pattern and crafted from vintage material; it's a limited edition find for true retrophiles. An Anthropologie exclusive from SOR Select by Some Odd Rubies.

Now, I looove vintage as much as anyone (anyone who loves vintage). It is one of the reasons I was drawn to Anthropologie in the first place, vintage inspirations with a quirky quaintness. But Mrs. Ropers wardrobe(that's a Three's Company reference for the young and/or clueless) is generally not desirable vintage for, no not retrophiles, vinties. Get the cutsie little terms right, please!

If you are going to retrophit and steal from different eras, then let's go back to the oldies and goodies. But, that sounds like fodder for another post. Here is the visual evidence of Anthro run amuck.


Monday 18 July 2011

The Great Mompos Dress Conspiracy of 2011

Scandal hits Anthropologie. The poor Mompos Dress is under attack. It has been dissed. According to several Anthromancers, this sweet cornflower blue dress has been viciously targeted by potentially false reviews set up to destroy Mompos’ reputation.

The cutie pie in question...


Kim from Anthroholic states in a five, no wait, seven paragraph review the following…

On reflection, I have edited this for length, not content.

"There has been some uproar over the poor reviews on Anthropologie's website for this dress, and I have to say, I can see why. I cannot believe anyone would rate this dress 1 star. I rate it 5 out of 5 stars. The quality is impeccable. Some said the color was dull in person. The color is anything but. It's a vibrant, gorgeous cornflower blue. I see no dullness, no gray cast, nothing. It has a gorgeous scalloped pattern with white eyelet, and the hem of the dress is scalloped - a super cute touch...


The neck is a higher cut than I'm used to, however, I found it very flattering.

The belt that comes with the dress is adorable! It's got stitching, a bow. I'm in love. It snaps in the back with four snaps. I like that it's removable. You can wear it to the side, wear it in the center, or heck wear it with other things!

I, like many women, am not a huge fan of the dreaded side zip so many designers use on dresses, so bonus points to Tracy Reese for using a back zip! ...

This dress gets 5 stars from me! I am insane over it and thanks to someone special in my life, it's mine! I love that it has that 1950's shape I love so much. Dresses like these make me think Anthropologie is headed back in the direction we all know and love so...

I personally wouldn't chance waiting on this one. It's already backordered for the first time online, and 3 other girls bought this while I was at the store yesterday!

You will not be disappointed in the lovely Mompos!

Zip on over to Anthroholic for a picture of Kim in the dress. She looks adorable in it. No, Iam not being facetious. I am, however, jealous that I am not quite young enough or short-waisted enough to wear it. Cute vintage touch. Anyhoo, the drama continues.

Kim and the Mompos have some support. What the ACLU and Freedom Riders did for blacks back in the 1950s, Anthromancers will do for the poor maligned Dress which will soon be out of stock. Or would be out of stock if these lying, sack o’ diaper meanies would just be quiet. Behind the scenes, bloggers everywhere are quietly and consistently emailing Anthropologie in support of THE DRESS. Apparently, it IS cornflower blue, and it IS NOT washed out. IT is without a doubt the most perfect AnthroLand dress ever, and that is saying a whole heck of a lot. There.

Here are a couple of the supporters…

"I have never been so happy to see someone wearing the lovely Mompos as you Kim. Isn't this dress just thoroughly lovely. I was so upset I actually emailed Anthro about that Bogus 1 star review. Of course I realized that the reviewer was smart enough to make sure they were within the guidelines that would prevent reporting the review as inappropriate. I'm still confused over that skewed helpful/unhelpful vote ratios. Someone is playing dirty pool. I am so happy that honest gals recognized this contemptible review as untrustworthy and continued to order and purchase this gorgeous T Reese."

Them's fighting words. You go girl!

And another…“every time I wear people just are in awe

Wow! In awe just by wearing this dress! I may have to reconsider my short-waisted issue.

Now, some of the haters. Boo.

I feel like you would really have to dress this one up with red lipstick and sky high heels to not feel like a little girl in this dress. The fit was okay on my hourglass shape, I suppose I'm just not used to such a high neckline. I suppose for conservative gals this would be a plus :

Excuse me, how much of a slut Housewife of New Jersey or insert the major metropolitan city do you have to be to consider that a HIGH neckline? Not low certainly, but high. Has this poster ever heard of Audrey Hepburn or Grace Kelly? Must the display of massive quantities of faux tanned skin mean sexy or style. Wanna bet this poster long scraggly hair parted in the middle, wears jeans a leetle too often and sun-damaged cleavage.

And here is the review that started it all.

"I was initially thrilled to see this dress online, and it just arrived in my store. Sadly, the dress in real life is NOTHING like the photo. The blue color is very faded and not in a vintage way - more in a way that gives the appearance of looking old and faded. I really expected the pretty blue I saw online, and this color in reality looked completely washed out.
I tried on 3 different sizes, and each of them pulled uncomfortably on my underarm area. This would not be a comfortable dress to wear at all, and I could not see wearing it for more than a few minutes with the way it pulled under my underarms.
I really wanted this one to work, and was prepared to purchase full price, but it was so washed out looking in person, and the fit was so poor, I just couldn't do it.
"

Heads are going to roll

Sunday 17 July 2011

It is to blog. Honoring Anthromancers everywhere.

Why am I starting a blog about Anthropologie when there are so many out there already and so many good ones at that? Sooo many creative and beautiful girls taking pictures of themselves in their OOTD, reviewing clothes, taking pictures of themselves in Anthro fitting rooms, blogging about their clothes by name, taking pictures of themselves in anticipation of special events, offering fashion advice, taking pictures of…

I want to know the genius chick that first started taking pictures of herself in Anthropologie fitting rooms and posting the reviews on the ‘net? Where is the groundbreaking girl who has inspired so much good in the world? Who was she? Does she it do it for other clothing lines? J. Crew? Laura Ashley?
Surely, there are some rickety ole Sloane Rangers, some Princess Di wannabees left with big bangs and lace trimmed collars that are posting and photographing themselves yearning for the quaint old Laura Ashley? No? Thought not.

There are so many things to admire about these blogs. The soft core fashion porn photography, the creative impulse and bravery to combine prints, plaids and stripes; the even greater audacity to combine a skirt, top and sweater from AnthroLand with shoes, from stop the presses, TARGET.

I rarely have time to photograph my growing son much less my OOTD, outfit of the day for you other Clueless Ones. See below for a list of vocabulary terms. Sadly, I am often remiss in both time and introspection in selecting what Anthropologie dress and sweater will create blissful style moment that aligns the cosmos. When nature, the birds, the mist that swirls from the oh so quaint brick walkway where I lean with a pensive look on my face create a second of sartorial perfection. (For reference on the afore- mentioned fashion porn and misty water-colored moments of style and pensivity, see Little Girl, Big Closet.)

How can there not be a blog that honors the time, trouble and effort these young women take to further their Anthromances? Now there is!