Saturday 24 December 2011

What! No 24 hours of A Christmas Story! %*&#

What?  TNT is not going to show 24 hours of a A Christmas Story!  I have checked the website.  I have sent an email.  I have called.  And, I will send a formal letter of complaint to TNT for this holly, jolly holiday betrayal.

What will I watch while I am preparing the bird?  What will I watch when I get up at 5:00 fricking a.m. to put the same stupid bird in the oven?  Where will I turn to when it's time to baste?  How can we bet on what scene will be on when we turn the TV on if it's not even showing?  Have you ever noticd that the same scene is always on no matter what time you turn on the TV?

The joy of A Christmas Story is that this is everyone's Christmas.  Unless you are Jewish, of course.  Whose Dad has  not cussed at the Christmas tree?  What causes the black out section  on twinkle lights?  Why does the tree always lean? Does it lean to the left if you are a Democrat, and the right if you're a Republican? 

Anyway, no You'll-shoot-your-eye-out.  Whose eye wil be shot out?  No F-U-D-D-D-GE! No fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra! No Scott Farkle's yellow eyes! What will happen to the old man's "tapestry of obscenity"? Is it still hanging in space over Lake Michigan or has it disapeared in space? What will little boys across the United States do without the soft glow of electric sex? And no %*&# Bumpasses. I am triple dog damnedly mad that there won't be any diabolical "HO, HO, H...

Pardon me?  A Christmas Story is on TBS?  Oops.  Never mind.

Wednesday 30 November 2011

Anthropologie = ETERNITY!!!

  I


Check it out.  Anthropologie equals Eternity.  Check out the symbol for eternity.  Up there. 

How often have you seen the following:

$88     Top
$128   Skirt
$188   Dress

We all knew it was true.  Anthropologie doesn't just provide clothes: it provides a state of mind, a way of living even your identity.  The tops may fray; the skirts may stain; the dresses may be out of style... Wait, what was I saying?  Not that. 

Anyway, Anthropologie clothing provides you more than a way of clothing your body.  The Big A clothes your soul.

Check out the website if you don't believe me.  See for yourself how many items end in an "8".  Um all of them?

It only proves that Athro-Land is not just a means of getting funky clothes, but a fashion network that connects us all to the Universe...and that $2.38 a DAY minimum wage earner in China that made your pretty, pretty skirt.

Coming soon, a post on The Magicians.  Books, my first love.

Friday 11 November 2011

backstory on the Tangerine Flicker Dress...Charlie Brown's little sis ripped off!

Probably not coming to the E channel. Correct me if I am wrong, but do you see a similarity between these two images?

Is Charles Schultz estate aware that Anthropologie has ripped off Charlie Brown? What about Sally? She could have used this as a great Easter dress with white gloves and Mary Janes. 'Cause let me tell you, they fit about the same.

Why does Anthropologie insist on such short bodices?

Thursday 6 October 2011

Eating ants is never a good thing.

One of my students ate an ant at recess.

That pretty much says it all. Mind you, I teach fifth graders, not kindergartners or even first graders so you don't think to say, "Don't eat any bugs!", when they leave for recess.
J has his tongue in a cup of cold water, and he's crying quietly. I'd like to think he's crying because he is reconsidering the error of his ways; realizes the potential danger of what could have happened if he had an ant allergy, but it is probably more because he won't have recess for a week. Or maybe his tongue hurts.

Apparently the feast began when another student dared him to eat an ant. I saw him out at recess holding the tip of his tongue, and asked why he wasn't playing. It took several re-tellings to understand the gist of it since he held his tongue the whole time and half the class was yelling their versions of the story. After scolding him, and actually saying,” If they told you to jump off a bridge, would you do THAT?"

Not letting him answer because I was afraid of what he would say, I sent him to the nurse to be on the safe side. I wrote a discipline slip on each student only to find the “Pass the buck” refrain begin. Apparently the sixth graders were eating ants too. Nothing like an elementary school kids' logic: if enough students get in trouble, then maybe I won't get in as much trouble.

The sixth grade participation does not surprise me one bit as I had that class last year, and they are notorious at school already. Deputy San Martino met with several boys and one girl for "incorrigible" behavior. That means they were bad a lot.

I can't help but think of Bill Cosby's routine in when he talks about his kids being brain damaged. I posted a link so you can see the validity of his point of view. If you have ever been a parent or a teacher, you realize he is not exaggerating.

I was forced to use the "S" word. It was a STUPID decision.

Wednesday 5 October 2011

Why editing your students' writing is a good idea.

The local Kiwanis gave each student in the fifth grade class a Webster's Dictionary for Students which, surprisingly enough, gets used. After three years, I have finally wised up and will no longer spell words for my students. They can slaughter the English language with ole Webster.

So, of course, the friendly letter followed shortly. Expository writing, the friendly letter, is an Arizona writing standard anyway. So, I set my class to writing their thank you's. I put a very clear sample on the board which only a third of the class ignored. Most of the thank you's were standard, yet sweet. Lots of "I really like...," and "Thank you for.... One student wrote, "I use it alot in class. Can you send us more stuff?" The latter sentence was nixed.

One student's really stood out. A lot. Little Mickey (name changed to protect the ...)is a very low reader and writer. Her letter started with the same, "Thank you for the dictionarys. They are so usefull. I can find exciting words like intoxication and menstruation in it."

I could feel my mouth hanging open. Trying very, very hard not to laugh, I furiously erased those exciting words she found. I don't know whether she was pulling my leg or not, but she professed innocence of their meaning. I explained to her, in the hall, that "intoxication" means drunk, and I just blew off "menstruation". She can find out the wonder and beauty of being a woman some other day. I just told her that none of the Kiwanis would be interested in reading either word, and let's go find some different ones.

Yikes. I would never have sent letters out without reading them first, but I still shudder.

Oh, and her two new words were "quadrilateral" and "zoology".

Saturday 17 September 2011

Bookbinder Shoes. Mine Precious!

As I stated the other day, nonexistent readers, cute Golden Means was the source of my downfall. Her post about the Bookbinder shoes led me to AnthroLand where I fell in luv.

If you read the reviews, there are some fit issues as in actually keeping the shoes on which is one of the primary functions of shoes if you think about it. Wearing them; walking in them. I normally hate heels, preferring Keds to about anything except for boots, but these shoes are a must. They call to me like a siren to Odysseus. They are actually comfortable not to mention transcendentally representative of my identity, focus and soul. All that crap from from a pair of overpriced, whimsical shoes. When you find something that touches and represents your identity, focus and soul, you want to hold on to it. BUT THEY WON'T STAY ON!! I bought heels doodads, but they still flop around off my heel. As I stated in my review on Anthro, I am keeping them even if I have to carry them around, put them on and stand in a corner with my back to a party just so everyone can see my too-cool-for-school shoes. And when I say too cool for school I am talking about where I work. Sadly, they are too cool for my school.

These are the shoes for the true bibliophile. Maybe I'll decorate with them.

Here are the darlings.

Thursday 15 September 2011

SOMEBODY READ MY BLOG!!!!!

Golden Means actually posted on my blog, and I am so happy. She has a cute and peppy blog about, hold your hat, Anthropologie. I know, I know. She is also the incredibly wicked, evil temtress blogger that posted pictures on the Bookbinder heels which inspired-made me buy them. Style entrapment.