What? TNT is not going to show 24 hours of a A Christmas Story! I have checked the website. I have sent an email. I have called. And, I will send a formal letter of complaint to TNT for this holly, jolly holiday betrayal.
What will I watch while I am preparing the bird? What will I watch when I get up at 5:00 fricking a.m. to put the same stupid bird in the oven? Where will I turn to when it's time to baste? How can we bet on what scene will be on when we turn the TV on if it's not even showing? Have you ever noticd that the same scene is always on no matter what time you turn on the TV?
The joy of A Christmas Story is that this is everyone's Christmas. Unless you are Jewish, of course. Whose Dad has not cussed at the Christmas tree? What causes the black out section on twinkle lights? Why does the tree always lean? Does it lean to the left if you are a Democrat, and the right if you're a Republican?
Anyway, no You'll-shoot-your-eye-out. Whose eye wil be shot out? No F-U-D-D-D-GE! No fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra! No Scott Farkle's yellow eyes! What will happen to the old man's "tapestry of obscenity"? Is it still hanging in space over Lake Michigan or has it disapeared in space? What will little boys across the United States do without the soft glow of electric sex? And no %*&# Bumpasses. I am triple dog damnedly mad that there won't be any diabolical "HO, HO, H...
Pardon me? A Christmas Story is on TBS? Oops. Never mind.
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