Eating ants is never a good thing.

One of my students ate an ant at recess.

That pretty much says it all. Mind you, I teach fifth graders, not kindergartners or even first graders so you don't think to say, "Don't eat any bugs!", when they leave for recess.
J has his tongue in a cup of cold water, and he's crying quietly. I'd like to think he's crying because he is reconsidering the error of his ways; realizes the potential danger of what could have happened if he had an ant allergy, but it is probably more because he won't have recess for a week. Or maybe his tongue hurts.

Apparently the feast began when another student dared him to eat an ant. I saw him out at recess holding the tip of his tongue, and asked why he wasn't playing. It took several re-tellings to understand the gist of it since he held his tongue the whole time and half the class was yelling their versions of the story. After scolding him, and actually saying,” If they told you to jump off a bridge, would you do THAT?"

Not letting him answer because I was afraid of what he would say, I sent him to the nurse to be on the safe side. I wrote a discipline slip on each student only to find the “Pass the buck” refrain begin. Apparently the sixth graders were eating ants too. Nothing like an elementary school kids' logic: if enough students get in trouble, then maybe I won't get in as much trouble.

The sixth grade participation does not surprise me one bit as I had that class last year, and they are notorious at school already. Deputy San Martino met with several boys and one girl for "incorrigible" behavior. That means they were bad a lot.

I can't help but think of Bill Cosby's routine in when he talks about his kids being brain damaged. I posted a link so you can see the validity of his point of view. If you have ever been a parent or a teacher, you realize he is not exaggerating.

I was forced to use the "S" word. It was a STUPID decision.

Why editing your students' writing is a good idea.

The local Kiwanis gave each student in the fifth grade class a Webster's Dictionary for Students which, surprisingly enough, gets used. After three years, I have finally wised up and will no longer spell words for my students. They can slaughter the English language with ole Webster.

So, of course, the friendly letter followed shortly. Expository writing, the friendly letter, is an Arizona writing standard anyway. So, I set my class to writing their thank you's. I put a very clear sample on the board which only a third of the class ignored. Most of the thank you's were standard, yet sweet. Lots of "I really like...," and "Thank you for.... One student wrote, "I use it alot in class. Can you send us more stuff?" The latter sentence was nixed.

One student's really stood out. A lot. Little Mickey (name changed to protect the ...)is a very low reader and writer. Her letter started with the same, "Thank you for the dictionarys. They are so usefull. I can find exciting words like intoxication and menstruation in it."

I could feel my mouth hanging open. Trying very, very hard not to laugh, I furiously erased those exciting words she found. I don't know whether she was pulling my leg or not, but she professed innocence of their meaning. I explained to her, in the hall, that "intoxication" means drunk, and I just blew off "menstruation". She can find out the wonder and beauty of being a woman some other day. I just told her that none of the Kiwanis would be interested in reading either word, and let's go find some different ones.

Yikes. I would never have sent letters out without reading them first, but I still shudder.

Oh, and her two new words were "quadrilateral" and "zoology".